theenglishmajor

I’m  not sure what to think lately… all of this chit chat and shameless self-promotion.

For me lately, I have found that there is nothing more entertaining than to get up in the morning and turn on the computer. I roam around for a bit, then go check out the latest  on and around mom-blogs. Yep! These are the best when it comes to instant entertainment!

However, some of it is just downright shameful! 

Ok- Not that I want to jump right into negativity here- but, come on- when I read something where a mom is answering a question like: “what’s on your mind” or “what are you doing” and the response is “Well, right now, Bo-Bo my two year old is prancing around on our roof, naked with the cat being dragged behind on a lease” This makes me wonder!

Of course, I feel it is safe to assume that Bo-Bo is in fact OK since the blog comment began with “as I stand here with a cup of coffee in one hand and the mouse in the other…”  So, they are typing all of this out WHERE? on the computer, or the cell phone in between the call to the fire company for someone to come get Bo-Bo the two year old AND the cat down off the roof?

I don’t know. I had four children. I endured quite a few mishaps while they were young- and only once I can recall having to call the fire company- however, I don’t know if I hadthe capability to text the world that I would have been physically able to perform such a feat while my two year old pranced around on a roof with our cat!

This of course, leads me to something else to ponder over: With all of the latest in happy pills, has one been able to accomplish the happy feeling along with new-improved super-mom powers? Multi-tasking at it’s best?

And what about the good ol days- before there were mini-vans, computers and happy pills? Back when family life was a  one-car-per-family-fun-filled-adventure? And, mornings began with breakfast, a kiss goodbye to the hubby(as he drove out of the driveway hoping to run over the cat)

Then, all ten neighborhood moms would meet up at the bus stop as Johnnie, Janie, Hanna, Howie and the rest of the gang of children lined up as the big yellow school bus pulled up to take them to school…everyone waved and some moms even still cried (like I said this was pre-happy pill days)

Then, for the next 6 or so hours, the moms would spend it however they liked. Some would rush off from the bus stop to start the laundry and household chores, a few would smile and go off in search of the best morning buzz ever… and then there were the few who would hang around and gossip for an hour or so- without a single thought to the amusement

 of the passers-by who took notice to their unkempt morning appearance:smeared makeup, fly-away hair, faded pajamas and fluffy slippers-all the while gossiping about  Susie and Candy- the two tramps who had just pranced off to go smoke weed all day and who had live-in boyfriends who didn’t work instead of having husbands with jobs. Then, after the fun of tramp bashing was over, it was on to the next subject: wonder kids and whose did what better. This was always touch and go conversation and if it didn’t escalate into a screaming match in the street, someone would have the good sense to try and keep the peace by inviting everyone over for muffins and coffee.

(hs anyone ever taken notice that the muffins for moms era began after  happy-pills-for-everyone got into full swing?)

Meanwhile, back to the good ol days… Moms then were moms. Now, they are mini-van driving, super moms who hope to pound out the great american novel before pick-up time at the elementary school.

But, always the optimist:now men everywhere can come home from work- to a quiet house. Back in the day when their wives were stuck in the house with no one to talk to all day- they’d come home to a yapping ninny.  Now, that yapper has a whole network of sympathetic “ears” and, dinner- well, dinner can be chosen from a variety of readily available boxes  and with a few zaps of the microwave- dear old dad hasn’t missed a thing. Kids are all fed and in their rooms listening to their ipods, texting their friends or playing on the computer….Mom is happily typing away again so dad can sneak off to watch the ball game, the news, or the latest sitcom.  Life is good.

And, Life is good for me too. I couldn’t be happier. I get up in the mornings and make my coffee, take my teenager to school, make lunch for my ten year old (I like to try and write messages with the mustard) then I take her to school and come home to quiet. I don’t take happy pills, don’t have to kiss a hubby goodbye, and don’t smoke weed. I am happy to read the musings of moms because it is delightfully entertaining- However, moms, PLEASE be aware of your audience- no, not beware- be-A-ware- the next time I have to read that you are typing out the events of Bo-Bo’s roof climbing adventures AS they occur- I just might have a heart attack. 

Also, I have been a mom long enough to know what three and four year olds are capable of.  And while goats may be replacing maintenance workers these days- no one is going to hunt you down in search of your little genius to take over as CEO because you’ve blogged that he can recite Shakespeare in four languages while he climbs to the roof to rescue Bo-Bo and the cat!

Be well all, and until next time…. while we all may feel like Eve did when she looked at herself standing naked under that tree: a bit disappointed but- remember! it’s nothing a push-up bra can’t fix!

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